wolfram alpha
pathways July 21st, 2009
Archive for the 'Uncategorized' Category
Fear of Rejection/ Need for Acceptance & DIM
pathways June 13th, 2009
Recently I have been developing something I call (DIM), Developmental Integration Malfunction.
This occurs when one’s main drives are fueled by fear of rejection and its twin, need for acceptance. When a person experiences powerful rejections such as a job termination, or death of a loved one I have observed that he or she will display a lack of any genuine positive emotion. Of course, if such a person experiences this at an early age, elaborate defense mechanisms become integrated within the developing ego, the survival mechanism.
Often this is noticeable when in spite of the fact that one’s life is in a mess, and the individual is not happy, he or she maintains an iron-clad rational for everything. Fear is highly motivating and almost always will castrate one chances for fulfillment and love. Ultimately, it can cause a person to self-sabotage as fear drives such a person to live by default. What I mean by that is one moves away from feeling experience to looking at the experience cognitively and intellectually. This is not the same as feeling. Many so called “do-good-ers” are overly obsessed with how they are perceived and the need to feel accepted. They have dodged their paths or purpose in favor of external distractions. Even when one’s personal and professional life comes crashing down, he or she persists in sidestepping with worn-out behaviors. This is my definition for “Developmental Integration Malfunction.”
When one is hurt and or traumatized emotionally, the common reaction is to protect oneself from future attacks. Deep trauma causes dysfunction of awareness. If left unchecked, much of one’s subsequent developmental behavior is designed to avoid personal feelings. It is ironic to me that this defense mechanism will rob a person’s quality of life thus creating meaninglessness and no fulfillment. Additionally, it is highly insidious. However, and like addiction, it is very effective at creating a sense of safety… for a while. As emotions attempt to move towards awareness, which is what they are designed to do, the individual with DIM, Developmental Integration Malfunction, requires progressive and more effective external distractions. Ultimately, the inner self is unknowable. The fortress is defended by a host of behaviors such as aggression, anger, obsessive behavior, co-dependency, depression, manipulating behaviors and lying, thus pulling the body away from self awareness.
The cost of this to the individual is huge. The need for acceptance is born out of a fear of rejection. Without awareness, this individual cannot see or change the pattern. This leads to years of living an inauthentic life which is the foundation for failure. As he or she is sinking and recoiling to the bottom of the little pond he or she once felt was theirs to control, he or she commonly thinks that it is temporary.
There is nothing sudden or temporary about it. It is the natural result of years of self deceit and pushing away behaviors. The flow of emotions is the mechanism by which we connect the physical body with the sense of self. Without this function, the individual sets up a vicious cycle resulting ultimately in failure.
The cause of fear of rejection can stem from from a range of experiences such as being teased as a child to the death of a loved one. It wreaks havoc in a person’s life at some point. Unfortunately, it is often not until everything falls apart, combined with his or her ability to accept that this has happened, that answers are sought.
If you or someone you care for is in this bind, I can help. The more one understands their fears the better he or she can learn to unravel their tiers of defensive behaviors and live a healthy life. Recovery and a joyful life are possible. I am living proof that all the abundance of life is yours for the asking.
Please email: ggioia0@gmail.com
Elephant Watching
pathways April 29th, 2009
There is a reason that you are choosing to be or stay stuck! Immerse yourself in what got you going in the first place. This is a case of misplaced values, of Ego vs. Love. Remember, at the end it is our ability to give, receive, and to grow in our understanding of love that will determine our worth. How stunted we became as a result of fear and lies is a non-event. No one cares, and no one is happy, albeit, “safe”. It is so easy to get busy, and be distracted. I think we tell ourselves that efficiency is more useful than receptivity. But what is efficiency for if not to decrease the resistance?
Beauty, Truth, Love and Charm and Why Quantum Physics Believes In Me–An essay –
pathways April 17th, 2009
Beauty, Truth, Love and Charm and Why Quantum Physics Believes In Me–An essay –
It was in an AP Physics class in high school, that I first learned about Quantum Physics. In a way I cannot explain, I know in my bones that there are mighty Truths there. The quarks got thrown out when science lacked the ability to keep track of and predict their behavior–things suddenly disappearing and appearing and not following the generally accepted “rules”. Apparently there were to many “quarks in the Quark theory. Nowadays, the language has changed to probability waves, vibrations of possibility, and /or quantum wave function. But I’ll never forget the happy way I felt when these first quirky subatomic particles were named Beauty, Truth, Love an Charm. After all, aren’t those words more associated with philosophy and spirituality? At the root of both science and spirituality is the quest for understanding and meaning? It’s just that the languages don’t always sound the same.
I have always been convinced that in some weird way, the truths and pursuits of spiritual philosophies and of Quantum Physics are virtually one and the same. It is no surprise to me that as you pare down the layers of life, no matter what form it is expressed in, you will arrive at the same understanding. Things manifest by witnessing them and in Quantum Physics, at its most reduced, the space or tension between two seemingly opposites where one cannot express without the other, like man and woman, is held together by a kind of energy osmosis that is both synchronized and randomly expressed. That’s what the quarks are and they have been named :Beauty, Truth,Love and Charm. I think later they found many more quarks, so the whole quark theory became impossible to predict.
What is Christianity? What has Christianity got to do with God? While watching Bill Mayer on HBO, one of his guests … The problem with this guest is that he, like so many, is blinded by his beliefs. By belief, I do not mean faith. We have certain “agreements” that we freely use when we are evaluating sensory information. For example we believe that if we work hard, we will reach our goals. Since we have that belief, we then also value anything that amounts to hard work– assuming you want to reach your goals. According to him, the “stories” of the bible aren’t true, and that therefore, the whole God thing must also be false. And, the lessons within the stories , therefor, have no value. The Church and God are not one and the same. Surely God exists independently of Christianity. His logic is erred and the problem is fundamental. He assumes that The Church has the real and exclusive rights to God, to God’s presence and understanding. Simply disproving the viability of the “stories” of the Bible does not, by extension, disprove God. Indirectly, science has simply shown that the stories are metaphors . Literal testimony is impossible if you “believe” what science has proved about natural law. Maybe the question I should be asking is what is the relationship between God and “organized” systems of thought? What is the relationship between Love and the Ego? Is it in the On and the Off?
I keep learning that I am not my thoughts. My thoughts come and go, while I do not. I am always here in this eternal moment. If I disprove my ego, and I can, I still have my ‘me’, my soul. I witness thought as communication or intelligence between the physical plane, or field and the observer of the thoughts, the “I”, who is not my body. Also steeped in ego are our thoughts and ideas. The Church, and Christianity are created by distinctly human thoughts, beliefs, and values etc.. The powerful ego, without which we could never survive this physical ordeal, identifies with the physical world and all the thoughts and beliefs that go along with it. It is natural, indeed it is a function of Ego to identify with thoughts, and so many people believe that they are their thoughts. Take away all of Christianity, and still there will be Beauty, Truth, Love, and Charm. Love, or God, reside outside of the realm of the ego. God, or Love, is in all things. Christianity is an organized school of thought based on the teachings of Jesus Christ. God consciousness is the source of all, and thank goodness we do not have the daunting task of organizing that.
